Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
