and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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