You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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