Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize