Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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