is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize