U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
