My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize