The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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