Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
