Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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