This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
