I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize