i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
