i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
