Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
