i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize