But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Soap is not a condiment
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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