just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
