no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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