We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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