very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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