Ambien. No doubt about it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
