Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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