YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
