I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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