All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
