What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
