We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
