No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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