There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
