I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
