Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
