You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
