I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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