I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i dont even know how to be here
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
