yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
