I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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