Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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