Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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