Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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