Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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