420 ftw
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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