No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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