How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
