He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
