p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
