I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
