alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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