Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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