there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
