You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
