After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
