it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
