the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
