North Korea, Best Korea!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
