You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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