Porn is love you can see.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize